In case the world does come to an end

Brandon Lesko
Assoc. Opinion Editor

If you haven’t checked a calendar or looked at the date on the front page, then allow me to remind you that today is Dec. 6, 2012. In 15 days, according to conspiracy theorists, doomsday prophets, ancient calendars and insane people everywhere, the world will end.
Now, whether that entails the end of the actual, physical world or, by some nuttier standards, the rebirth of the world into a new age of enlightened consciousness (give me a break), I can’t say. However, for the sake of this article I am going to propose that the end of the world (if indeed it ends on the 21st) will mean the end of humankind, since that’s all we care about anyways.
If the world were to end, and humanity along with it, you have to agree that it would solve a lot of problems. Some of which would include religious intolerance, the energy crisis, destruction of the environment via pollution, racism, war, poverty, ignorance, and the inability of PASSHE to offer a fair contract to our faculty.
There wouldn’t be stories in the news about mothers killing their children because “God” told them to do it, NFL players killing their girlfriends and then shooting themselves, terrorists blowing up civilians, U.S. drones blowing up civilians, or honored and esteemed members of society sleeping with their biographers. Best yet, there would be no news! Then there would be no reason to be depressed every day.
With the end of the world would come some heartache, though. With the death of humanity would also come the death of the iPhone, Facebook, Twitter, and other useless inventions of the past decade. No longer could we sit at Starbucks and feel self-important about posting pictures of ourselves drinking a $6 coffee, and then comment on it ad-nauseam until someone finally “likes” it so we can sleep at night having fulfilled the pathetic need to feel accepted by someone we only contact through something called, “tweets”.
But there’s always hope, folks. I have a hope that if the world were to end, there would be some survivors here on Earth. We humans are nothing if not resilient. Like cockroaches. Their concerns would drift from having nice clothes, the newest gadgets, and getting laid every week to having shelter, finding food, and gathering drinkable water (sounds like life in a third world country).
They would have to work past their religious, political, philosophical, and cultural differences in order to survive and progress. It would need to be quite different from the ideological stalemates we all seem to find ourselves in these days.
The planet would finally catch a break from the incessant pollution and exhaustion of its resources. It may even be able, in a few hundred or thousand years, to recuperate from the catastrophic damage we’ve caused in our meteoric rise as a civilization.
Hopefully, this new civilization would learn from the mistakes of the old. That it is impossible to succeed when the basis of your society is to consume and never replace. That sometimes enough is enough, and more is not always the answer. That sometimes differences are something to be embraced and encouraged, not shunned.
But thank God that’s all just conjecture! The world will most likely not end on Dec. 21 and we can all be content to continue living just as we do. The iPhone 6 will come out just as you get the iPhone 5, murders will be on the news every day, people will be killed in wars, and PASSHE will still probably not offer the faculty a fair contract. But on Dec. 22 you probably won’t care, just as you won’t remember this article five minutes from now.
I’d love for someone to prove me wrong.